Due to popular demand, I publish this article* again. It created a controversy because of a false interpretation, which I will talk about below.
“Use the word ‘fat’: Yes or No? Tess Holliday and Joby Bach have different opinions about it. With whose do you agree?
A post of Joby Bach got me thinking a lot about this topic. The term ‘fat’ has like the term ‘plus size’ a negative connotation. I said in this previous article that for me the term ‘plus size’ is not bad at all. Yet, I am not sure if I think the same about the term ‘fat’.
We picked Tess Holiday and Joby Bach, both with very different opinions, out for you.
Tess Holliday thinks that using the term ‘fat’ is not bad at all. She even named her first book #TheNotSoSubtleArtOfBeingAFatGirl, because she wanted to change the way we think about the word. Furthermore, by using it and not making a fuss about it she herself is reacting less stressed about it. This is a good way of not getting hurt by the bullies on social media. We can’t change the trolls and their behaving, but we can change the way we react to that.
(Tess thinks that we should celebrate ourselves and using the word ‘fat’ is one tool to achieve this. It is one way of accepting yourself as you are.)
Do you agree with Tess?
Or do you have a different opinion?
Joby Bach is against using the term ‘fat’. She thinks that if we are using the term for ourselves, then we are also degrading ourselves. She thinks that women should never try to do that and rather use other words, who have a more positive meaning. For her it’s important to have a positive outlook on things, therefore a word like “fat” is not a word a woman should ever use to describe herself. In her view, even if you say it’s ok to let others call you “fat”, your subconscious still has the negative meaning of it connected to yourself. Therefore, she could rather call herself “curvy” or “plus size”, than “fat”.
(For Joby it’s important to not use derogate words, because it doesn’t help you. Self-Acceptance and a positive outlook works for her by using words with a positive meaning.)
Do you rather agree with Joby?
I, myself, have no problem with the term ‘fat’. Yet, as a depression patient I learned that how I regard myself is very important. During my therapy, I had to write down my thoughts and emotions about the horrible incidents from my past. After writing that down, I had to change my ‘negative’ thoughts into more ‘positive’ ones. This way it can help you to get over them. It didn’t turn down the sad emotions I had, but it did help me to get over with a few incidents. I am still working on accepting my past as it was.
So, from my therapy I learned that changing your mindset on you and your past, can have a positive effect on yourself.
My question about this is still: “Do I need to turn my mind into something positive for it (turn the word fat girl into big girl), or do I need to name it for what it is and just let it go (call yourself fat, live with the negative connotation and focus on celebrating my life)?
I think I will use for myself the words fat & fabulous. In this case both the negative and the positive connotation will end up balancing it out. (Plus I love this combination.)
Do you agree with Tess (Fat Acceptance) or with Joby (Don’t use the word Fat)?
I am interested to know your opinion on this topic.”
> The highlighted parts in the brackets have been added to the article later. <
So, let me write something about the false interpretation.
- Do you see in the article text above anywhere the N word? No. That is because my discussion is not about it at all, but about the question to use the F word or not. That’s all. Furthermore, as I wrote in my statement: “I am happy to see in my comments that women accept themselves (the way they are). All I wanted to do is to make people think and decide for themselves. It is my job to reflect the different voices of the community.” The only reason why the N word was seen in my article, was because I included the IG link of Joby from her statement.
- I can understand very well if people feel hurt by reading Joby’s post just by “reading the N word from the page of a white woman” (words of one commentator). A lot of tragedy is implied with this word, which is a sad part of human history. Yet, because of the sadness surrounding this word Joby included the word in her post. Because of the tragic history we shouldn’t try to keep using it. That is all what she wanted to say with it. She is the mother of a mixed child and her boyfriend is black too, therefore she chose to include it. There are also personal concerns involved in it and she know of the feelings people have with the N word. However, I can also understand if people don’t mind using it to accept this part of the ancestor’s past.
- Accusing me to compare the F word and the N word is a total misinterpretation of my article. I didn’t compare them at all in my text and I also don’t think it’s ok to attack someone like this. Especially, if I agree with the attacker regarding the usage of the word ‘fat’. I’m fat too and I don’t mind if other people say they are fat. If they love themselves the way they are; then I am fine with it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
My last article was first published over a week ago, but the reaction is still significant. 1. My article was only about the question “use the word fat – yes or no”. Plus, this was also what the accused model talked about. She just added in her text examples of other words with a derogative meaning. The main context is only on the word fat. When I saw her post, it didn’t cross my mind that it could look like a comparison, because she never used both words together in a sentence with comparative words like “as bad as”, “worse than” or “just like.” Then it would have been obvious, and I would have cancelled the article completely. Nevertheless, I can understand now why people think it is a comparison, but this thought is not correct. We shouldn’t twist things around, because it creates ground for further legal actions. I believe “…when we are in the realm of Conflict, we can move from the Abuse-based construction of perpetrator and victim to the more accurate recognition of the parties as the conflicted, each with legitimate concerns and legitimate rights that must be considered in order to produce just resolution.” (quote from the book ‘Conflict is not Abuse’). 2. I didn’t choose the models to create a conflict, nor did I published the article to get used for sensationalism. I just wanted to share two opinions of models I respect and admire, because I saw that this is a current topic. 3. I am not against the word fat at all. I also have nothing against anyone using it. 4. The amount of negativity from the reaction has shocked me very much and I can’t believe that this is still the plus size community I started to love many years ago. 5. Furthermore, I just share the beauty of humans. Therefore, I can’t reject anyone because of different thoughts, looks and sizes. That’s why on my page you can see International Curvy Women and the progess of the Plus Size Movement in other countries too… (Continue in the comments)
Well, this is all I have to say about this topic. I will not share further comments or posts of the accusers, because that chapter is now closed for me. I thank Tess for her reaction and for tagging me, she is an amazing social media star. I just think she misunderstood what I wanted to say. Nevertheless, she rocks with her beauty and her tremendous talent.
*Article first published on October 25, 2017
Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. ~ Henry Ford
Unfortunately, most people don’t think before they comment on Social Media. Yesterday this image of Ullision Photography was shared in private groups to show off the result of his latest shooting with 8 different models. Ullision is known for shooting bigger sized women nude, but in a very beautiful and artistic way and he also puts a lot of work in this images.
So, I was not wondering that he shared this first image in different groups:
He also shared it on Plus Size Beauty, which is Germany’s best community page and also has its own private group page. Since this page is all about plus size women you would expect more acceptance for bigger women, but this is not true for Germany! It turned out that many plus sized women didn’t like this image and even body shamed the models.
Here are a few translated quotes from the comments of the female fans:
‘Curvy?Das ist nicht mehr curvy das ist fett.Das Bild ist alles andere als schön!!Ich bin selber auch fett.Finde es ist ein grauenvolles Bild.’ / Curvy? This is not curvy anymore, this is fat. This image is not beautiful at all!!! I myself am also fat and I find this image horrible.
‘Zu viel “Fleisch ” auf ein mal …wirklich wie eine Fleischberg.’ / Too much “meat” in one place…like a whole lot of land.
‘Null Persönlichkeit’ / Zero Personality
‘Es sieht aus wie beim Schlachter.’ / Looks like in a butcher’s shop.
Ich kann mir auch kaum vorstellen das diese fleischmassen als schön betrachtet werden können…Fett ist nunmal fett. / I cannot imagine how one can regard all this meat as beautiful….fat is simply fat.
Mir gefällt es nicht und ich finde es peinlich. / I don’t like it and I find it (the nudity) embarrassing.
I must say that now I feel embarrassed by my fellow German plus size women. You enter a group called PLUS SIZE BEAUTY, but as soon as you see real plus sized women you freak out. It is embarrassing that I must see this in a private group area, but I am not surprised by it. Honestly, Germans love to complain. We can do that all day. I know the photographer puts so much effort in this work. He edits them to create these ‘Illusions’. Anyone with a little intelligence must know that for him it’s all about that, since his name is ‘Ullision’. Furthermore, the models also didn’t have it easy. Some of them drove from the North to the South of Germany only to be part of this. You have to be brave to present yourself like this, but no one thinks of that.
That this can happen in a private group comes to my surprise. I thought you will only find body shamers on bigger pages for all women or even on plus size community pages, since all kind of people can follow them; but not in a plus size community group. Style & Curve also experienced this many times on our facebook page. Just recently we shared an post about the 223 Most favourite Plus Models on Instagram, which got voted by our fans; and we received a lot of negative comment about Tess Holliday‘s weight:
YOUR 223 MOST FAVOURITE PLUS MODELS ON INSTAGRAM! Our #G20 special starts now with your favourite IG models. I loved all the comments we received after asking you to tag your favourite models last week. Open #linkinbio to see all models/blogger accounts. #StyleandCurveMag #yourfavouriteplussizemodelsonIG #allwomenrock #badenbaden #g20summit 💜 💚 💙 💛 ❤ #curvymodelsrock #curvybloggersrock #boldbeautifulcurvy #vogue #plussizemodels #styleandcurve #plussize #curve #beauty #lifestyle #like4like #style #lingerie #huffpostgram #dailymail #celebratemysize #burdastyle #fashion #love #life #slay #confident
THE REACTIONS MADE ME WONDER ABOUT TWO THINGS:
WHY ARE PLUS SIZE WOMEN ACCEPTING CURVY MODELS, BUT NOT MODELS OF THEIR OWN SIZE?
WHY ARE PLUS SIZE WOMEN SCARED TO ACCEPT THEMSELVES AS THEY ARE?
This incident showed me that Germany is still very much backward, compared to the US. It is understandable why, but I expect that people could be more respectful to another. I am happy though about pages like Plus Size Beauty and people like Ullision Photography and his models excist. All the negative reaction they get is worth the fight. I can see this every day in my posts. Only by talking about this and showing the natural beauty of women, will the other women also start to accept us more.
Body shaming is a terrible thing, but our motivation only grows through this. Thanks to all the body shamers for that, we fight for you!
Photographer: Ullision Photography
Models: Alexandra Ehlert, CutieFruity, Kullerkeksin , KuLLerMieTze (BBW), Shavonne_67, Sunny G., Stella, Zaubermausenfrau.
As we’ve entered a new year and a new era for yourself, create goals that seem impossible and achieve goals that people once said you will never reach. It’s not about having something to prove to anybody, it’s about proving to yourself that you can do it. We have all been down in the dumps at times plus felt demotivated to do things, but life doesn’t end there, it carries on. Whether you’re an aspiring model/plus model, yoga teacher, writer, filmmaker, engineer, scientist, accountant, fitness instructor; the list goes on, take that leap. See the vision in your mind, take the required action and if things aren’t working out then re-evaluate and try again.
Love one another as you love yourself, if you don’t feel like you love yourself then look into ways that can make you feel better: meditation, yoga, reading, talking with loved ones, working out, going for a walk, listening to your favourite music and letting go are some of the things you can do to make your day feel better. One step at a time is the mantra, one day at a time is the aim, so keep your eyes on the prize.
Even though I am writing this article, it doesn’t mean that I live a very happy and everyday cheerful life because that’s not the reality of it. Sometimes I feel just like you, down in the dumps with the “What’s the point,” attitude, demotivated for days or even weeks, feeling like nothing is moving and that I’m forever stagnant, however, I still manage to get through and reach out to people like you by writing a positive article. All I’m doing is trying to prove from my own experience that the depressive feeling diminishes over time because time is a great healer. Old cliché? Yes, but it happens.
So pick yourself up on where you left off — especially to the plus size women out there, slay in every great way as possible, because we can all make a huge difference. 2017 is the year to feel assured more than ever, and to live in high spirits as much as we can.
Written by: Justin J. White
I just finished my daily celebrity news check-up. I have no special news about a plus size model, but I already saw some Christmas pictures of celebrities. I know tomorrow we will see a lot more, but for us I want to do something different.
Since plus size women are our celebrities, I want to have our own Christmas special; but with our followers on Instagram. We get tagged in pictures each day and I found a lot of them perfectly fitting for this feature.
Check out the best Instagram posts for the ‘CURVES ROCK CHRISTMAS’ special below:
💃🏽🎄Sharing some of my favorite Christmas outfits from this season by @pigtailsandpirates @theoblongboxshop @heartofhaute @pinupgirlclothing @hellbunnyofficial @steadyclothing 🎄💃🏽 – – All pics by my sweet hubby @garyzface – – #pinup #curvy #1950s #rockabella #rockabilly #curves #pinupgirl #vintage #vintagestyle #doll #pinupchristmas #pinupgirlclothing #ootd #retrostyle #vintagemodel #modernpinup #pinupgirlstyle #fashion #christmas #fashionblogger #christmaspinup #pinupmodel #photography #hautehoney #classicpinup #midcenturymodern #vintagechristmas #aluminumtree #bichon #christmasjumper @ratrodz_n_pinups @garagepinups @la_vida_rockabilly @thepurepinup @pinupdamesanddolls @thepinupbible @pinupworship
Incantevole abito rosso "Come in una favola" by @chichiclothing More outfit on my post http://lovecurvy.com/laura-brioschi-chichi-clothing-curve/ ❤️ Ph @adelaidemossinaphotography #LauraBrioschi #LoveCurvy #CURVYISNOTACRIME 💋 #Red #christmas #christmastree #outfit #outfitoftheday #ootd #tbt #love #loveit #holiday #dress #chichiclothing #loveyourself #size12 #curves #curvygirl #curvymodel #curvyblogger #fashion #fashionista #beautiful #natale #happy
The dark days before #Christmas… Time to shine yourself! Let your inner beauty glow girls and make the world a brighter place🌟 #granddivamagazine #xtwo#curves #celebratemysize #sizediversity #bigandbeautiful #plussize #fullfigured #plussizeblogger #curvy #proudplussize #instaplus #grotematenmode #plussizeblog #psblogger #dutchcurves #dutchplussizeblogger #dutchplussize #bodypositive #plussizemodel #plussizefashionista #plussizestyle #teamcurvy #goodmorning #gutenmorgen #goedemorgen
The holidays are coming!! Look from @izate.info Only you live in your body. Only you live your life. Good night world!! . . #Izate #EffYourBeautyStandards #BigAndBlunt #EstaEsMiBelleza #Style #StyleAndCurveMag #AlternativeCurves #CelebrateMySize #PlusModelMag #ThisBody #Fatshion #Fashion #PlusSizeDiva #PlusSizeBlogger #Blogger #Plussize #TallasGrandes #Today #Modelo #ModeloTallasGrandes #ModeloPlusSize #ModeloPlus #FashionBlogger #PlusSizeFashion #Model #PlusSizeModel #Outfit #Look #PlusSizeBeauty
DREAM BIG #beautyoverstandards . . . . . #celebratemysize #goldenconfidence #iamcurve #plussizefashion #fashion #slinkmagazine #skorchmagazine #plusmodelmag #lamodels #lamodelsrunway #wlyg #imgmodels #becauseitsmybody #purebodylove #nowrongway #beautybeyondsize #immyownbodygoals #bbbgirls4ever #stylehasnosize #styleandcurve #curvygirlsvip
Merry Christmas Eve Eve my darlings… 'Tis the season to embrace being the glamorous queen that you are! I know I am! I'm here, embodying the essance of an old Hollywood starlet, lounging in furs while feeling unapologetically sexy and pushing the boundaries of classic beauty. 🙂 I hope everyone has a beautiful, happy and safe holiday weekend.. oh and don't forget to 'sleigh' 😉 xx lingerie from @torridfashion xx #effyourbeautystandards #celebratemysize #bigandblunt #plussize #plussizefashion #fatshion #plussizemodel #model #faithplusfashion #fullfigured #ootd #psootd #psblogger #blogger #lingerie #boudoir #styleandcurvemag #fatkini #plussizestyle #curvystyle #goldenconfidence #seethe67 #bodypositive #selflove #slay #iamallwoman #sweepstakes #luxurious #torrid #justgivemetorrid
DID YOU ALREADY PACK YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFTS? 🎅🎅🎅DON'T FORGET THE RIBBON…FOR THE NICER FINISH… 😊😘😗👄 Photography: Kyle Colquhoun Studio: Poise photography studio Editing: Eva Believer #EvaBeliever#PlusSizeModel#FullFigured#RedIsSexy#RedLips#Bourjois#BlondeModel#Bombshell#Retro#Vintage#Ribbon#PlusSizeVixen#Curves#AnnSummers#Christmas#ChristmasShoot#MerryChristmas#Mood#ILoveMyJob
20% OFF NAUGHTY OR NICE! ✨CANDY✨IS CLASSY, SAVE ON THIS RIDICULOUSLY SEXY LINGERIE, AND ALL OTHERS! LAST DAY TO ORDER, FOR GUARANTEED CHRISTMAS DELIVERY! . . USE Code: LAURALEE . . Model: @misslauraleej 📸: @thenikkigomez HMUA: @rebeccalballister . . Click Blue Link in Bio 👆🏽to Purchase, ☎️ or visit us online 💻 www.lashesnlace.com
°°°° e-shop www.spreesy.com/plussize4u °°°° #plussizelingerie #plussize #bbw #plussizeclothing #curvygirl #curvylingerie #bbwlove #plussizeshop #plussizestore #plussizefashion #plusfashion #honormycurves #plusmodel #celebratemysize #plussizestockings #curvywomen #plussizewomen #lingerieshop #psblogger #beautywithplus #curvyfashion #curvy#biggirls #bigsizelingerie #loveyourcurves #curves #vbo #fullofcurves #weddingnight #plusisamust
Tomorrow is a special blog post because it's my birthday tomorrow…. yes I am a Christmas Baby! Stay tuned for all the details on this cute little number from @wegotcurves (use coupon code SARAHTJOURNEY for 15% off). Photos by @craveboudoir. Hair by @xpression_the_salon. Lace bra by @theashleygraham from @additionelle www.SarahTaylorsJourney.com . #psootd #psstyle #psfashion #psblogger #plussizestyle #plussizefashion #plussizeblogger #plussizebeauties #torontostyle #torontoblogger #celebratemysize #christmas #daretowear #boldncurvy #lingerie #ownyourcurves #fullfigured #fullfigured_fashion #fashionforwardplus #stylefilesplus #styleinfluencer #styleissizeless #bodypositive #bodydiversity #thickgirlzrock #goldenconfidence #effyourbeautystandards #myphotoinvogue
And that was it – FOR NOW! 🙂 Maybe I can add more tomorrow, if I see good pictures.
I would also like to show you what I myself wore last year for Christmas. It was the dress below, but without the hat. I made the pictures with the hat, because I wore the same outfit in January for an fashion event in Paris.
My look was inspired by cardinal Thomas Wolsey from the TV show ‘The Tudors’, because I just felt in love with cardinal robes. 😀 Which outfit I will wear this year, will be revealed online soon.
I am wishing you a very happy christmas time with your loved ones.
What is in the darkness can still be elegant, beautiful; the light that shines in the dark is always seen by someone else even if you cannot see it for yourself. You may feel in complete utter darkness; your heart may feel as if it’s being pinched by a thousand needles when you feel like the black cloud is hovering over you. But that’s not what we all see, that’s not what every outsider sees in the darkness.7
Your light shines bright like a lighthouse seen from miles away offshore. If we can see it from the outside, then you can see it from the inside. You just need to look deep enough, not just from your reflection but by quieting your mind to listen to your inner voice. That’s called intuition, your guide that lets you know who you are and how loved you are even if you cannot see it.
Sometimes you’ll feel like you’ve been down for a lifetime, but there are those around you in the dark to also keep you in check. And people still love you in the shadows of depths, even if it’s not evident in the physical, someplace, somewhere, someone does. So in the darkness always reflect because outsiders see a different picture. There is always space to breathe even when the water is up to your neck, for you won’t drown in the deep end but learn to thrive from when you’re deep in the dark.
- You may see your darkness as evil, on the flipside we see bright light.
- Your heart may feel painful and hollow, but we see love and depth.
- Your life may feel rotten, but we feel hope and faith.
- Your head may hurt from the critical negativity about yourself, but we think positivity.
- Your ears may hear hostility, but we hear unity.
- Your mouth may say no, but we say hunger kills you slowly.
- Your stomach may feel full in the reality of emptiness, but we say to enjoy your meal.
- Your world may seem despondent, but we recall exultant.
Darkness is just the absence of light. What shall be within your heart is only a point of view, so if you feel darkness inside; an empty feeling of love, just know we are here to love you just like we love everybody else.
Written by: Justin J. White
Featuring Model: Lyz Lupo Fanpage: Wolkenmädchen Photographer: JRM Photographie Website: http://j-r-m.jimdo.com/ Special thanks to Cheksography
What does this word mean? How do you apply it to yourself, your life, and the people around you? This word that you utter underneath your breath always kick starts your brain and dwells in the subconscious as to the way you go about your everyday life, and what things mean to you whether it’s material, emotional, spiritual or physical. But I am assuming when you think of the word “Value,” the first thing you will do is either apply it to yourself, and if not yourself then someone else or a physical object. Value does not always apply to money, but more about what is this particular thing or person worth. Is it worth your time? Do you benefit from what it is worth? All of these questions are relevant to what you bring fourth to your personality and characteristics. However, people may value themselves at a very low standard and there are many different reasons for this such as,
- Financial situations – being poverty driven.
- Previous relationships – suffering from physical or mental abuse.
- The opinion of others – autosuggestion (self-acceptance of an opinion triggered by others).
- Educational background – being illiterate or not being able to finance your education.
The list goes on, and whatever the problem is do not lower your-self value. Everyone is important, everyone makes a difference and impacts someone else’s life one way or the other; it could be to leave a positive mark or learn something from a negative situation. Depending on the situation can change the way you see yourself and others but do not let something negative allow you to see yourself in a negative light. Believe and you can achieve, make room for improvement but cease the negative thoughts that feed more negative thoughts.
Finally, give credit to yourself because sometimes, you are the only one who can pat yourself on your back. And at times, there’s nothing wrong with blowing your own horn.
Written by: Justin J. White
Today was a very sad day for Style & Curve. Everyday, I post pictures of plus size models on Facebook, but today Facebook started to restrict the visibility of those pictures. No one has reported my page, because no picture was removed by Facebook. I also have no information as to why they need to restrict my picture posts, plus, most of all, I see no violation of any Facebook rules at all. All models shared wear at least underwear, swimwear or dresses. We show no vulgar picture and if we share images of plus size models wearing only lace and no bra, then I can asure Facebook that those pictures are edited. No model nor photographer that we share wants problem with Facebook about free nip***! We are a page who takes care of what we share, because we are a magazine that offers online promotion for plus size models or brands and that wants to improve the self esteem of our plus size fans. Vulgar nudity is not welcome on our page!
RESTRICTING VIEWS ON PLUS SIZE MODELS = CYBERBULLYING & BOYDYSHAMING?
Therefore I don’t understand why the picture posts are restricted. Previously I’ve shared images of Eva Believer plus Daniela Sesay, and Facebook started to restrict them, but I removed them myself. Today I shared the plus size models Laura Lee, Morgan Louise, Myself (@lyzlupo) and the same picture of Eva Believer again, but all of these posts got NO LIKES. Forthermore, only 20 – 30 people were able to see these posts. All 4 picture posts are restricted and I have no clue why! This looks to me like we are getting body shamed by facebook.
Since Facebook was not showing my posts, I used my Instagram account @styleandcurve to publish my thoughts as you can see below.
Here I thought everything was still ok:
#LoveYourBody with @misslauraleej : "I love every inch of me!" That includes my belly, my cellulite, rolls, stretch marks, scars, EVERYTHING! Now look in that mirror and see all the beauty we see in you. Stop being your worst enemy, stop looking for flaws, love yourself, say I AM BEAUTIFUL because you are. Believe in you and stop hiding. If you want to lose weight or gain it, then do it. But never let words of others dull your sparkle, BE YOU.' #UNTOUCHED #UNPHOTOSHOPPED #StyleAndCurveMag #styleandcurve #celluliteandall #honormycurves #lifethrowscurves #effyourbeautystandards #goldenconfidence #allaboutthatcurvylife #denim #bodysuit Photographer | @desbasphotography HMUA | @rebeccalballister #TagsForLikes #followme #follow4follow #like4like #follow #likes4likes #likeforlike #likeforfollow #style #claimyourcurvesarebeYOUtiful #fashion #loveyourbody #loveyourself #kimkardashian #kyliejenner #selenagomez @instylemagazine @glamourmag @buzzfeedstyle @yahoostyle
But then I realized quickly that something is wrong on facebook since I got no likes at all. These are the words I used to show the unfairness done by Facebook:
I gotta give #facebook something sexy to work with today. They restricted the views of 3 pictures that I posted today already of plus size women. This is not the first time this happened to us, but now I want strike back! #restrictedposts Model: @moloweez Photo: @i.mays #StyleAndCurveMag #styleandcurve #plussize #plussizeoutfit #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #goldenconfidence #TagsForLikes #tagstagramers #followme #follow4follow #like4like #follow #likes4likes #likeforlike #likeforfollow #style #claimyourcurvesarebeYOUtiful #fashion #loveyourbody #loveyourself #kimkardashian #kyliejenner #selenagomez @instyleuk @dailymail @cosmopolitan @instylemagazine @glamourmag @buzzfeedstyle @yahoostyle
Dear @zuck from @facebook, why do you restrict the views of my picture posts? What did I do wrong? I don't promote porn, because I don't show nude t*** and a***. I only promote curvy women. Why do you restrict the views on these beautiful women? I am treated by you like a criminal for reasons I don't even understand. Is someone reporting my page for nudity or other reasons? Then why don't you inform me about those reports? All you do instead is restricting the views of my picture posts. I have to inform you that what you do on our Facebook Page looks like #bodyshaming, because you only restrict the posts of #plussizewomen. All the other posts are visible still. I think this is a very unfair! With this you do not only make me angry, but also models like, @misslauraleej, @eva_believer and @moloweez, because they are the models I shared today. I am not going to stay quite now. I will make your cruel treatment public now. Kind regards, @lyzlupo from @styleandcurve magazine. #StyleAndCurveMag #styleandcurve #plussize #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #goldenconfidence #TagsForLikes #tagstagramers #followme #follow4follow #like4like #follow #likes4likes #likeforlike #likeforfollow #claimyourcurvesarebeYOUtiful #loveyourbody #loveyourself #kimkardashian #kyliejenner #selenagomez @huffpostde @dailymail @buzzfeed
This is a picture I shared on #facebook 8 hours ago and it got NO LIKES at all. This is not normal when you would expect between 150-200 likes at least. I have no explanation from @zuck and @facebook as to why they needed to restrict the visibility on @facebook.com/styleandcurve. Facebook only restricted the views of posts with plus size models. All other posts and reposts are still visible. I think this discrimination of plus size women done by facebook has to stop! If you agree with me then #repost this. Furthermore, I am writing right now also an article about this incident with the prove of the restriction. Kind regards @lyzlupo from @styleandcurve. Model: @eva_believer For @deliciousdollsmagazine Photography: Teri V Photography Lingerie: New Look
#STYLEANDCURVE WON'T POST THIS WEEKEND OR EVEN THE DAYS AFTER! Due to some problems with #facebook I decided to not post anything anymore here until the issue is not cleared. The only thing that will follow is an article about facebook on our website www.stylencurve.com tomorrow, because I refuse to accept the discrimination of facebook regarding #PLUSSIZEWOMEN! @lyzlupo #StyleAndCurveMag #styleandcurve #plussize #plussizeoutfit #celebratemysize #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #goldenconfidence #TagsForLikes #tagstagramers #followme #follow4follow #like4like #follow #likes4likes #likeforlike #likeforfollow #style #claimyourcurvesarebeYOUtiful #fashion #loveyourbody #loveyourself #kimkardashian #kyliejenner #selenagomez @instyleuk @dailymail @cosmopolitan @instylemagazine @glamourmag @buzzfeedstyle @yahoostyle
This tactic of Facebook to restrict the visibility is unfair and discriminating, because they only blocked the view of the posts of plus size models. All other posts and reposts are still visible as usual. What Facebook makes looks like #bodyshaming! It hasn’t only happened to my picture, but also to the posts of the other models, therefore I made screenshots to document their treatment. Find the files below:
Now, I could either calm down about this, ignore it and just keep on posting as usuall. Unfortunately, this is not why I became active in the plus size community. I want to achieve a change, I want to stop the discrimination on plus size women on social media. I know there are many more plus size women who have suffered from this and I know how they feel, because this is when all the insecurities about our bodies come back. In my case, as the owner of a magazine that works hard on promoting plus size models and improving the self esteem of our plus size fans, it feels like a slap in the face to see that I can post as much as I want to, but no one will see it. To me this looks indeed like cyberbullying and body shaming towards plus size women, done by facebook directly. I am very hurt and dissapointed by Facebook. I wished they would comment on this and explain at least what I did wrong. I know I did not do anything legally wrong, so therefore this treatment is cruel. It hurts my heart to see how my work is getting treated, while there are so many pages out there that show content that shouldn’t even be made public. This is not freedom of speech anymore!
OTHER PLUS SIZE VICTIMS WHO SUFFERED FROM BULLYING BY SOCIAL MEDIA PAGES
Unfortunatly, this is not the first time social media pages were bodyshaming plus size women.
Even the famous plus size model Tess Holliday experienced such treatment when a picture of her was removed by Facebook, because it was violating its ‘health and fitness’ advertising policy. Read more here: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/may/23/facebook-bans-photo-plus-sized-model-tess-holliday-ad-guidelines.
And it did not only happen on Facebook, but on Instagram too, when this picture of the inspiring Aarti Dubey from Curves Become Her was removed. According to Instagram it was done ‘accidently,’ but the hurt was done already. Read more about this here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3632677/Aarti-Olivia-Dubey-outraged-Instagram-accidentally-removes-bikini-picture-plus-size-model-posted-page.html.
– UPDATE (08-22-2016) ON TESS HOLLIDAY vs FACEBOOK:
‘Tess Holliday was blocked from Facebook for calling out her harassers’ – Article by Revelist.com
‘Plus-size model Tess Holliday says she’s been blocked from her own Facebook account for the past four days.
According to the model, the block happened after she posted screenshots of harassing messages she’d received on the platform.
She says she initially posted the screenshots to Facebook both for awareness of social media bullying and because Facebook doesn’t do enough to help stop it.
“This time it really upset me because they banned the person getting abused [Holliday], which clearly shows that they just block anyone whose image gets reported instead of looking into it … I honestly just think that if they’re going to take such initiatives against bullying and harassment then they really need to do their due diligence,” she said.’
– UPDATE (08-23-2016) – LYZ LUPO NOW EVEN RESTRICTED ON HER OWN PROFILE PAGE
The sad truth is that although I thought the restriction is finally over, I had to realize this morning that it is still active. I shared this link on my fanpage and I got no more likes, nor comments. Then I shared the link of this article on my profile page already 3 x times yesterday night and 2 x again this morning, but everytime I got the notification that something didn’t work out correctly and that the posting was not successful. I made then a screenshot of my post of this article on my fanpage for Style & Curve shared it on my profile and on the fanpage and all of the sudden it can be seen. This made me realize that facebook is now blocking me from even posting my website link.
So again I had to go to Instagram to make it public:
I wrote the article about the restriction by Facebook (LINK IN BIO or below), but now this article is hidden on the FANPAGE. Plus everytime I shared it on my Facebook profile page, they remove it within 5 seconds. I don't know what to do anymore. I am deeply saddened about this. This is like online prison. 😢😢😢 And @zuck from @facebook, I still don't know why you treat my page #styleandcurve on Facebook like this. There are stars who share their nipples freely and they have no problem at all, but when I share #plussizemodels you need to restrict the views? Why? Am I promoting terrible ugly monsters? Am I a dangerous criminal when I promote #plussizewomen? Am I a devilish person that has to be hidden from the world? What is wrong with my pages on #facebook? Why do you need to use tools that look like #bodyshaming on my online magazine and my own profile? LINK: https://stylencurve.com/facebook-bodyshaming-plus-size-models-on-the-style-curve-fanpage/
– UPDATE (08-23-2016) – NOW ALL ADMINS CAN’T SEE THE POSTS ANYMORE
We the admins can’t see our own posts on the @styleandcurve page anymore. We can’t make our own picture posts anymore. Even links posted from our website are getting restricted by FB.
WE DIDNT BREAK ANY RULES; WE DONT SHOW NUDITY; WE ARE A SERIOUS PAGE AND WE GOT NO ANSWER FROM FB SINCE 5 DAYS!
This is why I had to create these 4 new pages. I hoped they accept posts shared from these pages and it worked so far today.
The 4 new pages are:
FASHION & RUNWAY – https://www.facebook.com/Style-Curve-Fashion-Runway-3090408…
BEAUTY STYLE – https://www.facebook.com/Style-Curve-Beauty-Style-559391437…
LIFE, LOVE, LIVING – https://www.facebook.com/Style-Curve-Life-Love-Living-19614…
ENTERTAINMENT & FUN – https://www.facebook.com/Style-Curve-Entertainment-and-Fun-…
> MAKE SURE YOU LIKE & SHARE THESE PAGES BEFORE OUR MAIN PAGE WILL GET REMOVED, BECAUSE WE THE ADMINS ARE REALLY VERY WORRIED RIGHT NOW!!!!!
This kind of treatment is something I would expect for a page that shares porn or related things, but not for a body positive online magazine. The incident on my page and on Tess Holliday’s page makes me wonder if there are more plus size pages who suffer from this restriction right now?
I really hope this prejudice is over soon and that I get an answer for all of this.
I am emotionally so much down and I can’t take it any longer.
Kind regards from the dissapointed admins,
Lyz Lupo and Norman Spee.
Iskra Lawrence embarks on an incredible journey to help the lives of others, proceeding with the courage to spread the word and make a difference around the world. And those lives consist of those who fall victim to eating disorders:
Anorexia nervosa – When someone begins to starve themselves or is exercising excessively to lose weight. Enabling them to keep their weight as low as possible.
Bulimia – When someone deliberately makes themselves vomit after eating food to control their weight. Additionally, they will binge eat and repeat the process over and over again, even to the point where they may use medication to empty their bowels.
Binge eating disorder (BED) – When a person forces themselves to overeat, usually, within a short space of time.
Approximately 30 million people in the USA suffer from eating disorders, that’s roughly 20 million women and 10 million men, and there are serious consequences amongst these issues. Also, there are over 1.6 million people in the UK that eating disorders affect and it is highly likely that this number is nowhere near accurate (underestimated). And worldwide, approximately 70 million suffer individually. People from all walks of life suffer from these terrible mental illnesses, and that is from one side of the spectrum, all the way to the other side can suffer from the same illness like Bulimia. What causes these are more complex than just social pressure.
So if you have an eating disorder, be assured that there’s help out there one way or the other, there are so many people and organisations to reach out to. There are many people who care about your problems than you think; Iskra Lawrence being one of them who supports and is speaking on behalf of NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association), and she’s not only bringing herself but she’s bringing an entourage, who will walk with her to raise funds and awareness to tackle these mental illnesses. All around the world there is help but we can only seek help by taking action, and that means even if you’re locked away from the world, try to send an email, go onto google and search the nearest place in your region who deals with eating disorders. You can even go onto social media platforms and contact an organisation from there who will direct you to the appropriate firm in your area.
So who’s joining Iskra on October 2nd? I hope you are because this is a stepping stone for those who wish to overcome the hardship of the cycle and influence others to head in the right direction. For those who speak out on this issue but feel as if they’ve made no progress, believe me, some who are suffering are listening.
Where there is a sense of defeat, lies a sense of hope.
Where there is a sense of no reach, lies a sense of outreach.
When the voice is quiet, inside is a scream.
We can fight together, to overcome these false beings. – Justin J. White
Written by: Justin J. White
Photo from: http://huff.to/2bbLdgm
Bullying and self-hate is a very sensitive topic to handle no matter what age you are. You may find that it applies to teenagers the most but it’s worth mentioning that adults experience this from time to time. Everyone is battling demons within, and so without, even the bullies themselves are struggling to get through their day-to-day major issues, causing them to throw their negativity onto specific people around them.
It may be something you’re experiencing due to your weight; a specific condition you have or the way you look. But I can tell you that even the person you regard as one of the prettiest people around feel that they have flaws within themselves, whether that’s in their body or facial features. So don’t be so hard on yourself.
Below is a statement from Dana Falsetti, an important one which proves that many people are experiencing bullying and self-hatred which also stems from bullying too.
Wednesday 27th of April 2016
“I get emails every week from teenage girls who are being severely bullied, called terrible names, made to feel lesser because of how they look.
I get emails from women 50+ who are just starting to understand that they are allowed to be kind to themselves.
I get emails from men who are experiencing the same.
Most tell me they’re depressed and just trying not hate themselves. Looking for guidance and assurance that they are worthy as they are. We spend so much time trying to be what everybody else needs us to be that we can get lost along the way. But you have the authority, we all do, to be free from that burden.
What’s more – you may feel isolated in your sadness or pain, but you are not. I’ve come to realize more than ever that we all experience pain and loss and hurt just the same. In fact, that kind of darkness or emptiness is what brings many of us to the practice. There is somebody else who feels alone for the exact same reason you do. I felt so alone in my misery until I shared it openly here, and saw that thousands of you felt the same. So now I share all the love I have to give and hope that it will continue to spread.
As one of my friends said earlier, our superpower is love. I believe that wholeheartedly, and I believe it needs to come from within, from a place of love for yourself. This is just one of the reasons I practice. Asana literally means seat. If I can sit with myself in the most challenging moments on my mat, if I can have a home in my body no matter what is going on outside of it, I am ready for anything. Don’t fight those uncomfortable moments. They’re teaching you how to live. How to be ready to embrace the truth, that we all have the power to turn off the voices that tell us we’re not enough, and just be.”
Photo by: Cheyenne Gil
I love the words of Dana, it teaches you not to give control to those who call you names because of the way you look, that you cannot please everyone and that is true for each and every one of us on this planet. There is always someone you can relate to and talk to, there is always someone who has been through the exact or similar scenario that you have been through that walks amongst you with confidence which was once invisible to many. So whenever you feel down in the dumps, I encourage you not to be afraid to pour your heart out to someone, especially those who are close to you, and if there is no one close to you then reach out with a private message on social media to someone who’s indirectly defending your battles. Just like those who have reached out to Dana.
Guidance is everywhere — look all around you, the direction to head towards has been in front of you all along. Love is endless, a click on a few buttons to reach out is close by; many love you, so don’t feel belittled by the minority that speak with miserable judgement. Instead, look at yourself and think about all of the good things you have about yourself, because I can be sure that most people lean towards finding more bad things about themselves when really and truly they have many good things to say.
With all this, life will be much brighter. You could be male or female, transgender or transsexual, twelve or sixty, chubby or skinny — it doesn’t matter, because you’re not the only one, plus there is no definition which supports what is “Normal,” or beautiful. It’s just……………………
Written by: Justin J. White
Dana’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/nolatrees/?hl=en
Dana’s Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/nolatreesyoga/
Photographers Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourbodylovetribe/
‘One day when I came home from work, my wife was waiting for me in the living room with that certain look on her face. She wore a new white bustier, a miniskirt and her favourite heels. I was the happiest man on earth, but I didn’t know the reason for this pleasant surprise. I asked her: “What’s wrong? What did you do? What did I do? Why do I deserve this look?” My wife came up to me, hugged me and then kissed me tenderly. Then she said: “I had a meeting today in the office. I sat next to the most beautiful woman in our office. She is a former model and works now as the executive secretary. We all envy her for her beauty. But during the meeting she asked me if one can see her rolls in the back when she sits. I said no and that she looks great. But she kept asking and then I asked back why she is so insecure. She said that her boyfriend left her last week, because she got fat. She was a size 4 when she met him and now she is a size 8. She said she is trying hard to lose weight to get him back, but she hopes that he will stop harassing her for her bigger body. I told her that I am a size 12/14. I have breasts, hips and a butt, but my husband never complained about my body weight. He may not be saying that I am beautiful every day, but when we go out he always makes me believe that I am the most beautiful girl in the world. Plus, he never ever complained about my body, my tiger stripes or my back rolls. Also when I start to complain about my body, then he tells me that I am the most beautiful woman in this world and that he doesn’t deserve me, so I give up complaining. You should forget your ex-boyfriend, because he can never make you happy. You are still very beautiful and now with a size 8 you look even better with your curvier body. Find a man who thinks you are beautiful no matter what size you have and he will help you to love yourself more.” The husband smiled and kissed his wife back holding her close with his arms.
This is just a story that I made up, but it’s true for so many insecure women out there. It doesn’t matter if the insecure woman on the story is a former model who just gained a little weight or if it is a woman with a size 20 fighting hard to lose weight to fit in a superficial society. In these times where are thought by the media that only thin woman are beautiful, we need to make woman of all sizes believe that they also have a right to be happy.
We from Style & Curve Mag do this online and we made empower plus size women our agenda, but you men at home can do this in daily life too. As soon as you see your wife being angry about herself and her appearance, you need to stop her and ensure her that she looks great. And if she still doesn’t believe you then show her the page of Style & Curve Mag, we show women of all sizes and can help you also.
Here is a great example of our fan Michael:
‘Your page…and other like it…have done more for a woman’s self esteem and mainstream embracing of natural and real sizes then any book, seminar or celebrity infomercial. My wife loves your page and it has allowed her to see herself as beautiful as I have always seen her. She shares these pages and images with me because she feels a) “I am just as beautiful as they are” and b) “you think I am just as beautiful as they are”. The anonymous nature of the Internet causes even the shyest of individuals to become a brazen, vulgar, narcissist. The Internet is full of mis-truths, misconceptions and misunderstandings….but it is also a source of knowledge, understanding and wisdom. Thanks to you choosing to show the world how life, body and beauty really is and should be my wife has finally come to believe that she is normal, that she is beautiful…and most importantly…come to believe in herself.
A grateful admirer.’
If you also know such an insecure woman, then share this story with her and show her the truth. We are all beautiful!
Thank you to Joby Bach for providing us with the pictures for this post:
I hope you all understand now why it is so important to motivate others and never forget to #loveyourself and to #loveyourbody.
A new month started already, but I still want to recap the last two weeks on Instagram for our Selfie spcecial. Here are my favorite snaps/ chats:
It’s a selfie video where she talks to the people criticising her for not being #plussize anymore. Here is her responce:
Love this catsuit from @houseofharlot and so happy I got to shoot it with @nicolamyboudoir & @sarahelliottmua ❤️ Can't wait to see the edits #bts #selfie #latex #latexmodel #latexfetish #shiny #rubber #corset #corsetry #curvy #curves #extremecurves #hourglass #cleavage #bigboobsdontcare #bustygirls #plussize #plussizemodel #pinup #pinupmodel #altgirl #altmodel #catsuit #brunette #longhair #model #modernpinup #lexylu
Too how for you? Come on, you can handle her pictures….
Well, I could rather use a #Macaron, but a cupcake will also be fine. 😉
Talking about the struggle to be pregant and plus size…
Having another baby has been a beautiful process & at times, frustrating. As I enter my 8th month, my body overall looks the same other than my belly & I'm okay with that. What I've had to be learn to be okay with (WHICH IS NOT COOL) is the fact that people still think it's okay to comment on my body: "you don't look pregnant", "you must be have quadruplets", "you are putting your baby at risk" & a slew of other uneducated statements that are very far from my reality 🙄. When "celebrities" are pregnant in the press, they look glamorous, toned & are eager to talk about how they are going to get the baby weight off. While I've done my best to look as put together as possible, that's not real life, & it's not for most women. I'm not the first plus size woman in the public eye to have a baby & share it with the world, & I certainly won't be the last. However I'm part of a small minority that's telling you it's okay to not have a perfect baby bump, or not show at all, to be plus size & have a healthy child, & most importantly to find a care provider that doesn't shame you about your size. It's also okay to tell someone to fuck off when they give you unsolicited advice about what's "best" for you & your baby. As women, we know what's best & that's our business.. No one else's. 👑 #effyourbeautystandards #theresnowrongwaytobeawoman #32weeks #babyhollidayontheway
Showing us how to rock white jeans pants.
Today's attire… #OOTD #bicoastalmgmt #lauraleeplus #manikmodel #honormycurves #goldenconfidence #celebratemysize #lifethrowscurves #effyourbeautystandards #bodypositive #allthingsfiery_atf #allthingsfiery #flyfashiondoll #ffpfashionista #curvy #getem Jean Button Down | Pure Energy White Tank | @victoriassecret Jeans @slink_jeans Fringe Stilettos | @schutzshoes
Curvy beauty with brains.
Listen, I've done a lot of great things in my life thus far & I've definitely accomplished a lot… But this -BY FAR- is at the top of the list. Being inducted into the @deltamudelta international honor society in business, which is the highest international recognition anyone can earn, is unexplainable. Being 5 months from finishing my Masters degree in business and marketing at @kaplan_univ, this has given me the motivation to keep my 3.87 GPA going strong. I won't be pretty forever, but at least I'll have a brain 😍😭❤️ #YesImTearyEyed #Honored #BeautyAndBrains #MBA #TimeToApplyForMyPHD 🤓🎓
I need this, just because it was so cold last week in Germany and I got sick. Let me dream….
You can also follow Style & Curve Mag on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/styleandcurve/
Always remember to #LoveYourself & to #LoveYourBody.