Bullying and self-hate is a very sensitive topic to handle no matter what age you are. You may find that it applies to teenagers the most but it’s worth mentioning that adults experience this from time to time. Everyone is battling demons within, and so without, even the bullies themselves are struggling to get through their day-to-day major issues, causing them to throw their negativity onto specific people around them.
It may be something you’re experiencing due to your weight; a specific condition you have or the way you look. But I can tell you that even the person you regard as one of the prettiest people around feel that they have flaws within themselves, whether that’s in their body or facial features. So don’t be so hard on yourself.
Below is a statement from Dana Falsetti, an important one which proves that many people are experiencing bullying and self-hatred which also stems from bullying too.
Wednesday 27th of April 2016
“I get emails every week from teenage girls who are being severely bullied, called terrible names, made to feel lesser because of how they look.
I get emails from women 50+ who are just starting to understand that they are allowed to be kind to themselves.
I get emails from men who are experiencing the same.
Most tell me they’re depressed and just trying not hate themselves. Looking for guidance and assurance that they are worthy as they are. We spend so much time trying to be what everybody else needs us to be that we can get lost along the way. But you have the authority, we all do, to be free from that burden.
What’s more – you may feel isolated in your sadness or pain, but you are not. I’ve come to realize more than ever that we all experience pain and loss and hurt just the same. In fact, that kind of darkness or emptiness is what brings many of us to the practice. There is somebody else who feels alone for the exact same reason you do. I felt so alone in my misery until I shared it openly here, and saw that thousands of you felt the same. So now I share all the love I have to give and hope that it will continue to spread.
As one of my friends said earlier, our superpower is love. I believe that wholeheartedly, and I believe it needs to come from within, from a place of love for yourself. This is just one of the reasons I practice. Asana literally means seat. If I can sit with myself in the most challenging moments on my mat, if I can have a home in my body no matter what is going on outside of it, I am ready for anything. Don’t fight those uncomfortable moments. They’re teaching you how to live. How to be ready to embrace the truth, that we all have the power to turn off the voices that tell us we’re not enough, and just be.”
Photo by: Cheyenne Gil
I love the words of Dana, it teaches you not to give control to those who call you names because of the way you look, that you cannot please everyone and that is true for each and every one of us on this planet. There is always someone you can relate to and talk to, there is always someone who has been through the exact or similar scenario that you have been through that walks amongst you with confidence which was once invisible to many. So whenever you feel down in the dumps, I encourage you not to be afraid to pour your heart out to someone, especially those who are close to you, and if there is no one close to you then reach out with a private message on social media to someone who’s indirectly defending your battles. Just like those who have reached out to Dana.
Guidance is everywhere — look all around you, the direction to head towards has been in front of you all along. Love is endless, a click on a few buttons to reach out is close by; many love you, so don’t feel belittled by the minority that speak with miserable judgement. Instead, look at yourself and think about all of the good things you have about yourself, because I can be sure that most people lean towards finding more bad things about themselves when really and truly they have many good things to say.
With all this, life will be much brighter. You could be male or female, transgender or transsexual, twelve or sixty, chubby or skinny — it doesn’t matter, because you’re not the only one, plus there is no definition which supports what is “Normal,” or beautiful. It’s just……………………
Written by: Justin J. White
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