Bullying and hating thyself: Let the truth be told

Bullying and self-hate is a very sensitive topic to handle no matter what age you are. You may find that it applies to teenagers the most but it’s worth mentioning that adults experience this from time to time. Everyone is battling demons within, and so without, even the bullies themselves are struggling to get through their day-to-day major issues, causing them to throw their negativity onto specific people around them.

It may be something you’re experiencing due to your weight; a specific condition you have or the way you look. But I can tell you that even the person you regard as one of the prettiest people around feel that they have flaws within themselves, whether that’s in their body or facial features. So don’t be so hard on yourself.

Below is a statement from Dana Falsetti, an important one which proves that many people are experiencing bullying and self-hatred which also stems from bullying too.

Wednesday 27th of April 2016

“I get emails every week from teenage girls who are being severely bullied, called terrible names, made to feel lesser because of how they look.

I get emails from women 50+ who are just starting to understand that they are allowed to be kind to themselves.

I get emails from men who are experiencing the same.

Most tell me they’re depressed and just trying not hate themselves. Looking for guidance and assurance that they are worthy as they are. We spend so much time trying to be what everybody else needs us to be that we can get lost along the way. But you have the authority, we all do, to be free from that burden.

What’s more – you may feel isolated in your sadness or pain, but you are not. I’ve come to realize more than ever that we all experience pain and loss and hurt just the same. In fact, that kind of darkness or emptiness is what brings many of us to the practice. There is somebody else who feels alone for the exact same reason you do. I felt so alone in my misery until I shared it openly here, and saw that thousands of you felt the same. So now I share all the love I have to give and hope that it will continue to spread.

As one of my friends said earlier, our superpower is love. I believe that wholeheartedly, and I believe it needs to come from within, from a place of love for yourself. This is just one of the reasons I practice. Asana literally means seat. If I can sit with myself in the most challenging moments on my mat, if I can have a home in my body no matter what is going on outside of it, I am ready for anything. Don’t fight those uncomfortable moments. They’re teaching you how to live. How to be ready to embrace the truth, that we all have the power to turn off the voices that tell us we’re not enough, and just be.”

Dana

Photo by: Cheyenne Gil

I love the words of Dana, it teaches you not to give control to those who call you names because of the way you look, that you cannot please everyone and that is true for each and every one of us on this planet. There is always someone you can relate to and talk to, there is always someone who has been through the exact or similar scenario that you have been through that walks amongst you with confidence which was once invisible to many. So whenever you feel down in the dumps, I encourage you not to be afraid to pour your heart out to someone, especially those who are close to you, and if there is no one close to you then reach out with a private message on social media to someone who’s indirectly defending your battles. Just like those who have reached out to Dana.

Guidance is everywhere — look all around you, the direction to head towards has been in front of you all along. Love is endless, a click on a few buttons to reach out is close by; many love you, so don’t feel belittled by the minority that speak with miserable judgement. Instead, look at yourself and think about all of the good things you have about yourself, because I can be sure that most people lean towards finding more bad things about themselves when really and truly they have many good things to say.

With all this, life will be much brighter. You could be male or female, transgender or transsexual, twelve or sixty, chubby or skinny — it doesn’t matter, because you’re not the only one, plus there is no definition which supports what is “Normal,” or beautiful. It’s just……………………

ALL PERCEPTION!!! 

Written by: Justin J. White

Dana’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/nolatrees/?hl=en

Dana’s Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/nolatreesyoga/

Photographers Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/ourbodylovetribe/

MORGAN LOUISE SAID IT, SO I SAID IT TOO

All hail to the queen of curves and the woman who looks like an angel. She said it, yet, it was a re-post from “bodyposipanda,” quoting, “Life is already happening, and you’re already good enough to live it in the body you have right now.” The MSA model is well endowed; sanctioning women to always love themselves no matter what, to not express regret by looking a certain way that others may disapprove of, or be in complete disgust to fuel fire for those who wish to make women feel in disorder.

I get it too, no one wants to feel like they have to conform to the way others feel, they would rather live how they want, but one thing that gets in the way of someone’s heart if they’re not strong enough to resist are other people’s words. Words are powerful, especially the context they’re written in, and if it can relate to your current situation it can either have a positive impact on your feelings, or a negative blow to your heart. However, that’s partly your choice on how you feel, but if you cannot stand firm like a brick wall, ask yourself these questions.

  1. Why do I feel this way about myself regarding their words?
  2. What is the root cause to me not being able to withstand the messages in their words?
  3. What should I do to overcome these feelings?

I know there are many thoughts running through your head for those who can relate; it can be very daunting — almost like your mind’s playing tricks on you. That constant battle with your super-ego; self-critical conscience which mediates between yourself and society, enabling you to make judgement on when to fight back between what’s right and wrong in your eyes. But those questions can be answered to the point where you will feel that you no longer have to answer to others, where you no longer feel the break in your heart to their words of distaste, where the world will be a better place from your perspective.

All it takes is some medicine; the kind of medicine that will uplift your spirit and sense of well-being of living in the moment and being self-aware. And that medicine starts with GRATITUDE, and where does this initial stage of gratitude come from? You, your unique character, the facts of who you are as you cannot be anybody else; furthermore, being alive. Plus speaking from experience, as time goes on, you will begin to unravel all that was and all that will be within, because what’s within will be shown on the outside; confidence on the inside will air on the outside, likewise, hatred on the inside will manifest to the forefront.

And Morgan’s re-post sums this up nicely. “The next time you look in the mirror, ask yourself if self hate is really working. Ask yourself if you’re willing to spend your whole life at war with your body, trying to hate it into something else. And if you’ve had enough, like I know we all have, then it’s time to try self love. The same self love that you deserved all along.”

Moreover, you have always had it in you, that feeling of confidence and inner-peace within yourself that was waiting to spring through the cracks of your heart, and to not go back to what has passed but to merely look forward and better thyself.

As above, so below. As within, so without (The Emerald Tablet, Circa 3000 BC).

Written by: Justin J. White

Photo by: Theik Smith (@theikphoto)

Morgan’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/moloweez/

Bodyposipanda’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/bodyposipanda/?hl=en